General jokes

 
 
The Lord's Prayer
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer.
At the Pearly Gates
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.
Two nuns and a blind man
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent.
Two Irish lads at the church
Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends.
Sailors in lifeboat with cigarettes
The ship was sinking and four sailors were able to get a lifeboat into the water and climb into it safely.
Camel died
A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the dessert.
Old people's vacation
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters...
The hat
An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat.
Small head
A boy was walking down the road when he noticed an old geezer with an unusually small head.
A single bastard
A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends.
Little fart
Father Dan visits a convent.
Confession
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work.
Heavenly golf
Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing.
An orange,an apple and a hand grenade
Three men are on a plane.
An Irish priest and a Rabbi
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train.
An eventful journey
An Englishwoman and her young son were travelling in a taxi in New York.
It's written in the Bible
There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel and offered hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner.
An affair with a woman...almoust
A married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest...
A car
A little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he could.
A terrible secret
The new nun goes to her first confession.
One Sunday morning
The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning.
Two nuns at the fruit market
Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 cucumbers.
100 camels
As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists.
The Blarney Stone
A group of Americans was touring Ireland.
Pilot to tower
Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . .
The way from San Francisco to Washington
Her father was very angry when he heard that his twenty year old daughter had hitch hiked all alone.
Pablo and Paco
One day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses.
Two nuns are traveling
Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car.
Mohel
This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery.
An Indian on horseback
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas.
A sex change
A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game.
Five years experience
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.
The organization
The organization is like a tree full of monkeys.
A stock up
Mary came back from lunch to find that all the girls in the office had removed their clothes.
Eating chocolate
The rules of eating chocolate.
Trucker eating in a diner
A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner.
Your own sandwiches
Two men went into a diner and sat down at the counter.
Virus Alert
There is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propogated through the email system.
You know it's time for a diet when...
You dive into a swimming pool so your friends can go surfing...
Irish virus
An actual mailing.
Diets
A diet is a weigh of life.
A sexual sofa
An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman.
Dieting rules
If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories...
Guy on diet
An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds.
Orange dick
An old man goes to the doctor.
Bachelor's cooking
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
Unique breakfast
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read, "Unique Breakfast"...
Kiss and slap
A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita.
The potato family
One night, the women in the Potato family were preparing dinner.
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